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Saturday, August 26, 2006
firstly is not a word, and not all Lowe's are created equal(ly)
Listening to:My City's In Ruin, the Boss
Reading:Plain Truth, Jodi Picoult
Weather:71, lovely
First, firstly is not a word. And furthermore, neither is secondly, nor is thirdly. And so on. Stop using it (them), you sound stupid when you do.

Why does your bittorrent download speed immediately start decreasing when you look at it? Fight the urge, just don't look at it. What is she downloading, you wonder? Stealing music? Hell, no. I'm downloading mp3 and flac versions of albums that I already own on vinyl. Nothing illegal or stealery about that. OK, stealery also not a word. And don't worry, even if it says ETA 775 weeks on your torrent, just stop looking at it, it'll take way less than that.

I added a shower in my downstairs bathroom, snoooooooooop doggy dog. I already had a bathtub, so I decided I'd merely replace the tub spout with one that has add-a-shower threads and a diverter. Seems simple. Well, as in all things plumbing, there are numerous variables to consider. Front-threaded, rear-threaded, slip-on with set screw, 1/2 inch, 3/4 inch, length of nipple, length of spout, just to name a few. So once you figger out what yer lookin at, where will you go to get your fixtures? How about the ubiquitous Lowe's? Hum de dum de dum, off we go. Wow, here's a spout that seems like it fits my criteria, and cheap, too, lucky me. Hum de dum de dum, back home. Uh, fits (well, leaves a bit between spout and wall but that can be dealt with easily enough), but drip drip drip to the back of the spout. Just a little drip, but that will not do. Let's try some of this fabulous stuff that is vinyl tape. It's not really tape in the adhesive sense, it's a very thing ribbon of vinyl that you wrap many times around the threads of the nipple to help it seal between the threads better. And it has the bonus features of making both the fixture and the old tape easy to remove when you want to take stuff back off. Rockin. So I roll about 20 revolutions of tape around that bad boy, screw back on, drip drip drip. You bastard! So I again remove the fixture and have a closer look inside.

The connector inside the spout is actually plastic. My old one was metal. Hmm, and upon even closer inspection, I think I might be able to see a little defect, a little hole at the back back the diverter. Cheap crap. Let's go to Hugharts instead, the real plumbing supply place. I leave work a bit early so as to get there before the closing time of 5p, get waylaid by an annoying conversation, but I speed off, looks like I'll make it, and. . .turn the handle of the door and it's LOCKED. Dangit. But nice friendly dude comes to the door as I walk away and says can I help you? Hell yes, I hope so, and thank you so much. I show him the old metal fixture, explain what I'm looking for. We don't have it. Here, I'll show you, the only add a shower tub spouts are rear-threaded, not front-threaded. Well I have one from Lowe's but it's cheap plastic crap, ya sure you don't have one? Nope. Try Bed Bath and Beyond. Really? K. So after work the next day, BBB. Hell no they don't have squat. But they did have a cool shower, so I bought that. To the net. Search search search, can't find anything except in the very expensive fashion bathroom crap with the brushed brass and high price tag. On my way home from Charleston I decide to try Ace hardware in Fairmont. Also no luck there.

Frustrated. So I think what the hell, I'll try the other Lowe's since it's now friday after work and I'm still in town. Shonuff, exactly what I'm looking for, right there. Actually it's a very universal add-a-shower divertor spout, with metal rear threads, plastic insert to make it front threaded if you wish, adapters for bringing down to 1/2 inch from 3/4 inch, etc. The bomb. Works like a frickin charm, not a drop of drip. Yeah, baby, yeah!

permalink posted by cat 9:43 AM

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firstly is not a word, and not all Lowe's are created equal(ly)