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Friday, December 22, 2006
I don't think jesus likes you
Listening to:IGY, Donald Fagen
Reading:Nick Cave
Weather:48, misty
It's just so contradictory. Why would a benevolent son of a benevolent god want you to obnoxiously demand that every person you encounter be faced with either clarifying and justifying that she celebrates something different than you, or when the patience runs out just have to let you and everyone around mistakenly believe she's in your little jesus club? It's just bullshit and I've had enough of it.

Look, believe what you want, celebrate what you want, wear a big neon flashing dead guy on a cross if that's what floats your boat, but why must you constantly put the rest of us in this us or them position? I'm not advocating a religiousless community, I'm just asking that you please let the rest of us, the apparently very tiny minority who don't buy your mythology, peacefully follow our own grooves for the endlessly long month of December every frickin year.

I said Merry Xmas more times than I can count last night, and it was no prob. I played a show for the Lions Club Xmas Dinner in Bridgeport, and it's a christian org doing a christian event, so I figured it was pretty safe to assume that each of those cats would actually celebrate xmas. And my wish for them was that they actually have a groovy whatever, and since the whatever was almost assuredly xmas I said "merry xmas." See? I'm not just a jesus basher, that's not my point.

But I've put up with my kid having only 2 choir concerts a year and one entire show (50% of the concerts for those who like math) being hilariously called the Holiday concert thought it was all jesus crap plus one (usually lousy or cheesy) chanukah song. And every year I've put up with going to these concerts at a freakin Catholic church because our school doesn't have a concert hall (though one would fit perfectly on the football field). And I've therefore put up with my kid having to sing this jesus shit for MONTHS, half the freakin school year, every year preparing for this so-called Holiday concert every year. But this year takes the dead guy's cake, because they actually made us stand up and sing along to the jesus song whose lyrics were conveniently printed in our programs.

That fuckin did it. I will not put up with that shit. My emotions went from are you kidding me? to this royally sucks and I'm pissed, to wow just in case you forgot you are actually perhaps the one and only non-jesus freak on this entire planet, you tiny little insignificant minority. Then I found that I was lucky enough to be seated very near a jewish man (a fellow musician, actually, whom I've seen play but don't actually personally know) and his daughter who also were not singing. Now please picture the scene, the giant new and extremly opulent catholic church in motown has a HUMONGOUS crucifix suspended as if by levitation over the seats. I am surrounded in this giant room filled almost standing room only with hundreds of parents clad in red and sparkles singing in unison a true jesus song, not some generic holiday thing or even a generic god thing. And all just to see my kid sing one stinking concert this semester. It's absolutely beyond outrageous. If your jesus thinks that cool, he's strictly an asshole. Please quote me.

OK, enough of how much the pushy and bigoted jesus clan sucks. On to what's good in this world, the turning of the big wheel. I actually missed the moment of my favorite holiday of the year last night as I was playing the aforementioned show. But today I can inclusively say Happy Winter to every single one of you, since if you actually live on this planet it is integral to your existence and not mythological that the big blue ball has moved just beyond that point farthest from the sun once again. And the sunlight returns, a little more each day until late June when we reach the closest point to the sun in our orbit. And BTW, to be thankful does not require an object of your thanks. It can be perfectly intransitive. So jesus tribe, you do not have a corner on the market of thankfulness, either. Plenty of us atheists are thankful for lots of things for lots of reasons, and your trinity has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, I feel much better already. Perhaps in part it's because my little office room here at home is filled with the heavy sweet perfume of one single powerful blossom on my gardenia plant. If only I you had smellovision.

permalink posted by cat 8:04 AM

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I don't think jesus likes you